Shifting your mindset from a pre-empty nester mom to an empowered empty nester can be one of the hardest transitions in the motherhood journey. As your children become more independent, you may experience unexpected emotions like sadness and emptiness.
You believe you should be happy, but when nobody is around, tears run down your cheeks. Nobody seems to notice your pain: “Does anybody care about me?” You feel alone even when you’re with loved ones. But you numb your feelings and hope that one day your life will change.
I understand how you feel. Who would have imagined this was coming at the end of parenting? But this transition also offers a unique opportunity for growth and self-discovery. In this article, I'll show you How to shift your mindset from empty to empowered mom in 3 simple steps.
Step 1: Raise Self-Awareness
Shifting your mindset begins with self-awareness. This could be the hardest part because you’ve been busy nurturing others. As a result, you might feel disconnected from yourself. It’s totally normal.
Now, I want you to start reconnecting with yourself by asking these questions:
- What makes you feel that way?
- When do you experience these feelings?
It may be uncomfortable, but that’s where you’ll find a solution.
Step 2: Accept Your Feelings to Shift Your Mindset
Once you connect with yourself and identify specific emotions, it’s time to accept them. Make sure to be compassionate and talk to yourself as you would to your best friend. There’s no space for self-criticism or judgment.
Earlier, I mentioned hoping for life to get better. Here’s the biggest mistake I made. I was waiting for someone to change my life. I eventually understood that nobody was coming: radical acceptance was scary, but necessary.
As soon as you accept where you are, you’ll experience a sense of relief because you’ll feel seen, heard, and understood by YOURSELF!! This may surprise you, but the relationship you have with yourself is the most important aspect of your life.
Step 3: Focus On What You Can Control
Next, let’s identify what you can control and not. For example, you can not control the weather, but you can bring an umbrella.
Let’s practice this using an example of feeling alone. You CAN’T control others to be there for you all the time to fill your alone time, but you CAN invest that solo time in learning something new.
Notice how reframing "alone" to "solo" instantly gives you a sense of empowerment?
On the other hand, when you focus on the things you can’t control, that’s where you’ll feel friction. This is when you may feel sad, lonely, or unworthy. Always remember to focus on what is within your control.
Exercise For Shifting Your Mindset
Let’s do a simple exercise to stretch your brain. Shifting your mindset is all about seeing things from different perspectives. It’s time for you to connect with yourself and ask the next 3 questions:
- If I were my child: “Would I like to see my mom waiting for a life change?” Or “Would I want to see her thriving?”
- If I were my best friend: “What advice would I give her going though the pre-empty nester phase?
- Look around your communities: Where could I use this solo time to help others?
Seeing things from different perspectives help you find the light to overcome obstacles in your life.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the key to becoming an empowered empty nester is shifting your mindset with self-awareness and acceptance. By focusing on what you can control, you'll be able to reframe your narrative. That's how you can unlock your potential and become a thriving mom! Embrace the pre-empty nester phase with compassion, courage, and positivity, as your best years are ahead of you! I believe in your ability to create the life you REALLY want!
Love & Care 💕
Kumiko
Midlife can be a pivotal time. With kids growing up, careers shifting, and personal identities evolving, it's easy to feel overwhelmed. In the middle of chaos, there's a common trap many fall into: the belief that "I need to change."
While this notion might seem harmless, it often leads to unnecessary stress and dissatisfaction. The truth is, you don't need a complete overhaul. You simply need space to reconnect with yourself.
In this post, we'll explore how you can embrace midlife motherhood with grace, without feeling pressured to change everything.
Understand the Transition
First things first: midlife isn't an endpoint but a transition. Just like your teenage years brought transformation, midlife offers new growth opportunities.
Embrace these changes as part of your transformation journey instead of seeing them as a problem that needs fixing.
Celebrate how far you've come
Take a moment to look back on all you've accomplished. Whether you've raised children, built a career, supported others, or managed a home (or all of the above!), you've done incredible things.
These achievements are proof of your resilience. You're not starting from scratch; you're growing from a strong foundation.
Get clear on what you really need
The pressure to change often comes from external pressures or comparisons. Instead of focusing on what's "wrong", ask yourself: What really matters to me now? Maybe you don't need a reinvention, just a few gentle shifts.
Small tweaks from within beat big changes from outside.
Set Realistic Goals
You don't need a master plan. What you need instead is permission to take one small step at a time. That could mean trying a new hobby, making time for self-care, or reconnecting with someone you miss.
These small actions can enhance your quality of life without the pressure of a complete life overhaul.
Prioritize Self-Compassion
This phase can bring uncertainty, and that's normal. Remember to be kind to yourself. Talk to yourself like you would to your bestie: with grace, patience, and understanding.
It's okay to feel messy and take things at your own pace - there's no comparison!
Seek Support
You don’t have to figure things out by yourself. Talk to a trusted friend, join a support group, or work with a coach or therapist. Having a safe space to share your thoughts can offer clarity.
You're not alone in this journey.
Embrace Your Authentic Self
Most importantly, embrace who you are. Midlife is a time to honour your true self, prioritize what matters most, and let go of what no longer serves you. Cultivate your passions, values, and unique qualities.
Authenticity is far more fulfilling than any shiny, surface-level change.
Conclusion
As a mom in midlife, it's natural to feel the urge for change. But you don't need to flip your life upside down to feel fulfilled. By honouring your journey, setting achievable goals, and embracing your authenticity, you can navigate this phase with clarity and grace.
Remember, you're evolving, and your transformation is beautifully yours.
Love & Care 💕
Kumiko
In the hustle and bustle of mid-life, balancing family and work can often leave you feeling stuck in the daily grind. Amid this chaos, finding moments of peace and joy might seem impossible. However, a gratitude journal can serve as a transformative tool to reconnect with yourself and uncover positivity and fulfillment in everyday life.
A gratitude journal is simply a record where you jot down things you're thankful for, fostering reflection and appreciation. Whether you choose a high-end journal or a simple notebook, the goal remains the same: to focus on the positives in ordinary moments. This practice offers numerous benefits, from increased creativity and reduced stress to a greater sense of purpose and improved physical health.
The best time for journaling depends on your routine—consider evening sessions to end your day on a positive note, morning entries to start your day right, or jotting down thoughts throughout the day whenever gratitude strikes. Prompts can help get you started by focusing on connections with yourself, nature, and others. Over time, this habit can shift your mindset from negative to positive, bringing more happiness into your life. So grab that notebook, make a cup of tea, and start your journey to a more grateful and joyful self today.
Read more...Are you at a crossroads, feeling the need to change but unsure what that truly means? You don't need to become someone new to adapt to life's evolving phases. Instead, consider rediscovering what you do and how you think without overhauling your essence.
First, acknowledge your journey and celebrate who you are. Your lived experiences and core values make you unique, so why change that? Instead of reinventing yourself, focus on small adjustments to your activities and habits that will enhance your well-being.
Transforming your mindset can unlock a more fulfilling life. Embrace positive self-talk, adopt a growth mindset, and practice daily gratitude. By setting healthy boundaries and prioritizing self-care, you can redefine success and create a life that feels more authentic and rewarding.
Read more...
Many of us women grapple with the fear of going gray. Aging is a natural process, so ideally, it shouldn't stir up feelings of difficulty or apprehension. But why do we dread this natural transition?
Like you, I found myself at a crossroads, debating whether to embrace my gray hair or continue to cover it up. I was bogged down by worries about other people's opinions. On top of that, navigating through menopause felt like being on a never-ending roller coaster. It became clear that I needed a shift in mindset to be at peace with myself; otherwise, I would remain trapped in a cycle of negativity.
In this article, you'll you CAN overcome the fear of going gray and truly embrace it.
Fear of Going gray
Embracing gray hair sounds simple, yet it's anything but. Initially, we might snip or dye our grays, falling into a never-ending cycle of maintenance. Why the resistance to going gray? Often, societal expectations press women to maintain a youthful appearance, viewing gray hair as undesirable. Many women, including those in my family, dye their hair perpetually to conform. Yet, the real challenge lies in accepting aging itself, as we fear stepping out of our comfort zone.
How to OVERCOMe the fear OF GOING GRAY
When I started to truly connect with myself, nature, and the people around me, I felt a profound neurological shift in my mindset. Almost immediately, I began embracing my authentic self and practicing self-kindness. This journey led me to a newfound sense of comfort and, unexpectedly, genuine excitement about transitioning to my natural gray hair. Next, I will show you exactly how I connected with three key aspects.
Myself
- focused on what’s important in my life
- looked inward to find my authentic-self
Nature:
- started backcountry camping – stepped out of my comfort zone!
- spent more time in nature – practiced mindfulness!
Others:
- connected with women who transitioned to embracing their gray hair – truly empowering!
- searched for images of women in gray hair – absolutely inspiring!
What happened Next?
Unexpectedly, other women started complimenting me and inquiring about my process, similar to how I had once sought inspiration from women who wore their gray hair with pride. This led to an intriguing revelation: my assumptions about others' reactions were completely wrong!
In fact, several of my students even thought my gray hair was an intentional highlight, viewing it as something cool and trendy.
This journey has underscored a powerful truth: often, we are our own greatest adversaries. It's important to ponder the impact we can have on other women and future generations. The choices we make can indeed pave the way for a more accepting and empowering world!
Love & Care 💕
Kumiko
