Many New Year's resolutions fade within a few months. Have you ever wondered why this happens so often? Two main reasons are lack of clarity & deeper purpose or meaning behind the resolutions we set.
If you're serious about positively changing your life this year, the following 12 transformative questions can help you craft New Year's Resolutions that stick. Let's dive in!
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6 Questions to clarify your New Year's Resolution
Q1: Why do you want your goals?
Understanding your motivation is key. Consider what dreams or aspirations you have for the new YOU. Embrace your emotions, even if they're uncomfortable. They'll help you with resilience, especially when you're just about to throw the towel into the ring.
Q2: Is your goal achievable, considering where you are now?
Setting overly ambitious goals can lead to discouragement. Find a sweet spot: not too easy or too difficult. Next, reflect on your time and energy after work, family obligations, etc. Self-awareness is the key. Be honest with yourself and adjust your goals accordingly.
Q3: What emotions would you like to feel when you achieve your goals?
Visualization is a powerful tool. If you struggle with picturing the outcome, focus on your desired emotions. Close your eyes and let your body experience those feelings.
Q4: What obstacles might you face in achieving your goals?
While the thrill of achievement motivates, preparing for potential setbacks is crucial. What's your plan for tackling obstacles? Being proactive about challenges leads to success.
Q5: How will you measure your progress?
Defining a target number or timeframe gives you a clear goalpost. Clarity leads to a greater chance of success!
Q6: Who do you need to become to achieve your resolutions?
This reflective question is critical. Achieving your goals involves evolving into a better version of yourself. Describe three adjectives that embody the person who fulfills your New Year's resolutions.
6 Questions to Maintain Your New Year's Resolutions
Q7: How will you remind yourself to take action?
Research shows that forming new habits takes 18 to 254 days to become automatic. Find an undeniable reminder to ensure you won't make excuses for forgetting. What do you look at regularly that can prompt you?
Q8: Who or what holds you accountable?
Having an accountability partner or making yourself accountable to someone or something increases your likelihood of sticking with your plan. It motivates you to act even when you don't feel like it.
Q9: What will trigger for you to take action?
In "The Power of Habit," it's explained that introducing a new habit is easier when you build it on an existing one. For example, after dinner (an existing routine), you could take a walk (a new habit).
Q10: When and where will you take action?
Set a specific time and place for your actions, aligning them with your routine for the least friction. This specificity reinforces consistency. For example, I do strength workouts in the kitchen while I cook instead of going to the gym.
Q11: What reward will you give yourself for taking action on your New Year's resolutions?
To encourage consistency, incorporate fun and motivation into your plan. Rewards can be tangible items, experiences, or fulfilling emotions. You'll evolve, and so will your reward. What would inspire you to keep pursuing your resolutions?
Q12: How often will you check your progress and adjust if necessary?
It is essential to track your progress and celebrate small wins regularly. Decide whether daily, weekly, or monthly check-ins work best for you, and celebrate each milestone along your journey!
Conclusion
In conclusion, these 12 questions serve as your guide to meaningful New Year's Resolutions that stick! Embrace them with intention and an open heart. With clarity and purpose, you have everything you need to step into the new year confidently. Visualize your growth, commit to your dreams, and make this your most transformative year yet! Remember, the best part of your life is ahead of you!
Loneliness can often creep in during the motherhood midlife transition, stirring up uncertainty and self-doubt, making it difficult to reach out for support. The fear of being judged only deepens the isolation, even when surrounded by those we love.
As mothers, this could be one of our most challenging transitions. For years, parenting has been our primary purpose, the heartbeat of our daily lives. But as our children begin to spread their wings, it’s natural to feel a profound sense of loss, uncertainty, and loneliness.
But remember, this transition can be a chance for profound transformation. You’re on the brink of discovering a more fulfilling life. In this article, you’ll find 5 steps to shift your mindset from loneliness to empowering solitude for a happier, more enriched life.
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Preparing for Your Mindset Shift
Before we dive in, let’s start by setting the right environment and your intention:
- Create a calm, distraction-free space where you can be true to yourself.
- Grab a pen and paper.
- Speak to yourself with kindness, as you would with your dearest friend.
- Try to view your life from a bird’s eye view.
- Be open-minded
It’s crucial that you feel seen, heard, and understood by the most important person—YOU! This is the key to transforming loneliness into solitude so you can create the life you REALLY want.
5 Steps to Transform Your Mindset from Loneliness to Solitude
Step 1: Connect with yourself - Find where you are
This step might be challenging because we never learned how to. We tend to hide and distract ourselves to numb our feelings. It’s time to uncover the roots of your loneliness by asking yourself:
- What do you believe is causing your loneliness?
- Who and what makes you feel this way?
- When do you feel lonely? Is there a specific time?
- Have you experienced these feelings in the past?
- How does loneliness manifest physically in your body?
Acknowledge and accept your answers—they are your genuine feelings. Embracing them leads to greater self-compassion and understanding.
Step 2: Accept the Truth
Loneliness can be fuel. Understand that only you have the power to change your feelings of loneliness. Others could offer temporary relief, but the real change must come within yourself. Accepting this truth is a turning point that allows your life to shift positively.
Understand that only you have the power to change your feelings of loneliness. Others could offer temporary relief, but the real change must come within yourself. Accepting this truth allows your life to shift positively.
Step 3: Release your emotions
Once you acknowledge your feelings, you must set them aside temporarily to gain clarity. It’s not easy, but I know you can!
Focus on the facts and write keywords and phrases that help you see your life from a bird’s-eye view. Removing emotions enables you to see a potential solution.
Step 4: Shed your limiting beliefs
The bird’s-eye view reveals the limiting beliefs that trap you, such as thoughts of loneliness. Most often, we’re not aware of our limiting beliefs.
For example, I used to believe I had to prioritize everyone else before myself because I was a mom. This belief made me feel unworthy and lonely. ‘Nobody cared about me,’ was the story I told myself. None of it was true.
Ask yourself, “Is this belief true?” Often, it’s these limiting beliefs that tell our stories. Remember, the time spent in solitude can be your opportunity for growth and reflection. How do you wish to spend this time?
Step 5: Cultivate curiosity - turn loneliness into power
Reconnecting with yourself might take some time, but the key is to approach it with curiosity. Explore these questions to help you rediscover your passions and interests:
- What was your childhood dream?
- What piques your curiosity?
- What skill could enhance your life?
- What truly excites you?
- Who is your ideal self, and how can you become that person?
- What’s something you once thought you couldn’t do?
Do you notice the common thread? It’s all about learning and growing to rediscover and reconnect with yourself. Be curious to find who you truly are! Doesn’t it make you excited?
Conclusion
Navigating loneliness during the pre-empty nest phase can be challenging, but it offers growth opportunities. By following the 5 steps, you can transform loneliness into empowering solitude. Shift your mindset by understanding your current situation, shedding limiting beliefs, and cultivating curiosity. This journey is your chance to reconnect with yourself and unlock your potential. Remember, your mindset shapes your path ahead of you, so believe in yourself & trust your intuition! ❤️
Love & Care 💕
Kumiko
Imagine yourself as a Mother Tree, standing tall and strong with dignity. She’s confident and resilient, and most importantly, she grows freely, expanding her roots and branches without restrictions. Now, picture a bonsai tree, perfect on the surface yet confined, cut off from its true essence.
For years, I lived like that bonsai tree—responding to others' unspoken expectations and feeling stuck in limiting beliefs. Then, I hit the midlife transition and noticed physical changes like wrinkles and gray hair. I was overwhelmed by the fear of aging, the uncertainty of what was ahead, and the judgment of others.
If my story resonates, I’m here to empower you with 5 pearls of wisdom from Mother Trees. Discover how you can thrive like a Mother Tree, from awareness to aspiration in midlife.
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#1. Embrace imperfection like a mother tree
Looking at Mother Trees, you’ll notice broken branches, scars, and unique shapes. These imperfections are what make them beautiful and inspiring.
Let go of the idea of perceived perfectionism because it keeps you trapped in fear. Do you want to spend your life worrying about others’ opinions? Embrace your authenticity because you’re perfect for who you truly are.
#2. Nurture Your Growth
A forest guide once told me that a tree's roots are 2 to 4 times bigger than you see above ground. These roots grow nutrients to help the tree grow and nurture others.
Just like those roots, you need to nourish yourself before nurturing others. Prioritize nurturing your body, mind, and soul to discover your true purpose. There’s a special gift waiting to be uncovered deep within yourself.
#3. Cultivate Resilience as a Mother Tree
A Mother Tree symbolizes resilience. It has overcome challenges like forest fires, droughts, extreme temperatures, etc. With every obstacle, it continues to grow and evolve to become what it is today.
You might have faced life challenges you wish hadn’t happened to you, but these challenges have made you strong. Reflect on your motherhood journey. Don’t you see your patience, flexibility, and remarkable resilience? Trust in your ability - you’re stronger than you think!
#4. Hornor Your Tree Rings
Trees add a new ring to their trunks every year, marking their growth and age. The older the tree, the more wisdom and experience it holds. A Mother Tree stands as a symbol of quiet dignity.
You may sometimes feel unworthy or too old to make a meaningful impact. But as a tree grows each year, you have grown with your children. Your commitment, determination, and consistency have shaped who you are today. Age brings wisdom and the power to inspire and influence others for a better future.
#5. Simplify Like a Mother Tree
A Mother Tree intuitively understands where to focus her energy for optimal growth. She is clear on what resources she needs, chooses where to expand, and skillfully sheds unnecessary branches and leaves to conserve her vitality.
Your midlife transition mirrors this beautiful process. As you navigate menopause, see this as a perfect opportunity to pause and simplify your life. Trust your knowing, let go of the things that no longer serve you, and embrace this phase with confidence and clarity!
Conclusion 🌲🌳🌲
Midlife transitions can feel overwhelming if we continue to live like bonsai trees, focused on external appearances and limited by others’ expectations. Instead, explore your midlife by thriving like a Mother Tree, nurturing your inner growth, and embracing your authenticity.
Remember how you thrive like a mother tree:
- Embrace Imperfection
- Nurture Your Growth
- Cultivate Resilience
- Honour Your Tree Rings (Experience & Wisdom)
- Simplify Your Life
Believe it or not, you’re already a Mother Tree. Hornor the wisdom you’ve nurtured, and grow into your most authentic self. 💕
Shifting your mindset from a pre-empty nester mom to an empowered empty nester can be one of the hardest transitions in the motherhood journey. As your children become more independent, you may experience unexpected emotions like sadness and emptiness.
You believe you should be happy, but when nobody is around, tears run down your cheeks. Nobody seems to notice your pain: “Does anybody care about me?” You feel alone even when you’re with loved ones. But you numb your feelings and hope that one day your life will change.
I understand how you feel. Who would have imagined this was coming at the end of parenting? But this transition also offers a unique opportunity for growth and self-discovery. In this article, I'll show you How to shift your mindset from empty to empowered mom in 3 simple steps.
Step 1: Raise Self-Awareness
Shifting your mindset begins with self-awareness. This could be the hardest part because you’ve been busy nurturing others. As a result, you might feel disconnected from yourself. It’s totally normal.
Now, I want you to start reconnecting with yourself by asking these questions:
- What makes you feel that way?
- When do you experience these feelings?
It may be uncomfortable, but that’s where you’ll find a solution.
Step 2: Accept Your Feelings to Shift Your Mindset
Once you connect with yourself and identify specific emotions, it’s time to accept them. Make sure to be compassionate and talk to yourself as you would to your best friend. There’s no space for self-criticism or judgment.
Earlier, I mentioned hoping for life to get better. Here’s the biggest mistake I made. I was waiting for someone to change my life. I eventually understood that nobody was coming: radical acceptance was scary, but necessary.
As soon as you accept where you are, you’ll experience a sense of relief because you’ll feel seen, heard, and understood by YOURSELF!! This may surprise you, but the relationship you have with yourself is the most important aspect of your life.
Step 3: Focus On What You Can Control
Next, let’s identify what you can control and not. For example, you can not control the weather, but you can bring an umbrella.
Let’s practice this using an example of feeling alone. You CAN’T control others to be there for you all the time to fill your alone time, but you CAN invest that solo time in learning something new.
Notice how reframing "alone" to "solo" instantly gives you a sense of empowerment?
On the other hand, when you focus on the things you can’t control, that’s where you’ll feel friction. This is when you may feel sad, lonely, or unworthy. Always remember to focus on what is within your control.
Exercise For Shifting Your Mindset
Let’s do a simple exercise to stretch your brain. Shifting your mindset is all about seeing things from different perspectives. It’s time for you to connect with yourself and ask the next 3 questions:
- If I were my child: “Would I like to see my mom waiting for a life change?” Or “Would I want to see her thriving?”
- If I were my best friend: “What advice would I give her going though the pre-empty nester phase?
- Look around your communities: Where could I use this solo time to help others?
Seeing things from different perspectives help you find the light to overcome obstacles in your life.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the key to becoming an empowered empty nester is shifting your mindset with self-awareness and acceptance. By focusing on what you can control, you'll be able to reframe your narrative. That's how you can unlock your potential and become a thriving mom! Embrace the pre-empty nester phase with compassion, courage, and positivity, as your best years are ahead of you! I believe in your ability to create the life you REALLY want!
Love & Care 💕
Kumiko
Midlife can be a pivotal time for many of us. With kids growing up, careers evolving, and personal identities shifting, the transition can feel overwhelming. Amidst all the chaos, there's a common trap many fall into: the belief that "I need to change." This notion, while seemingly harmless, can often lead to unnecessary stress and dissatisfaction. In this blog post, we'll explore how to navigate your midlife transformation with grace and confidence, without succumbing to the pressure of drastic change.
Understand the Transition
First and foremost, it’s essential to recognize that midlife isn't an endpoint but a transition. Just like your teenage years brought about significant changes, midlife transitions bring new opportunities for growth. Embrace these changes as part of your transformation journey instead of seeing them as a problem that needs fixing.
Celebrate Your Achievements
Take a moment to look back on all you've accomplished. From raising your children (pat on the back!) to managing a household, building your career, your experiences have shaped who you are today. Celebrate these achievements and understand they're evidence of your resilience and strength. Recognize that you're not starting from scratch; you're evolving from a solid foundation.
Reflect on Your Real Needs
The urge to change often stems from external pressures or comparisons. Instead of immediately jumping to what's wrong or what needs changing, reflect on what truly makes you happy. Are there specific areas in your life that need minor tweaks rather than an overhaul? Focus on identifying your real needs rather than succumbing to societal expectations.
Set Realistic Goals
Instead of drastic changes, set small, realistic goals that can gradually improve your well-being. Whether it’s picking up a new hobby, making time for self-care, or reconnecting with old friends, these small steps can significantly enhance your quality of life without the pressure of a complete life overhaul.
Prioritize Self-Compassion
Remember to be kind to yourself. Midlife transition can bring about feelings of uncertainty, and that's perfectly okay. Self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding as you would treat a friend. Acknowledge your feelings, forgive yourself for any perceived shortcomings, and move forward with a sense of acceptance.
Seek Support
You don’t have to go through this transition alone. Talk to friends, join support groups, or seek professional guidance from a therapist or coach. Sharing your thoughts and feelings with others who understand can provide valuable insights and help you navigate the transition more smoothly.
Embrace Your Authentic Self
Finally, and most importantly, embrace who you are. Midlife is a time to honor your true self, prioritize what matters most, and let go of what no longer serves you. Embrace your passions, values, and unique qualities. Authenticity is far more fulfilling than any superficial change could ever be.
Conclusion
As a mom navigating midlife, it's natural to feel a pull towards change. However, it's important to realize that you don't need to overhaul your life to find fulfillment. By understanding the transition, celebrating your achievements, setting realistic goals, and embracing your authentic self, you can navigate this phase with confidence and grace. Remember, it's about evolving, not changing. Your journey, just like your life, is beautifully unique. Embrace it fully.
Love & Care 💕
Kumiko
