Shifting your mindset from a pre-empty nester mom to an empowered empty nester can be one of the hardest transitions in the motherhood journey. As your children become more independent, you may experience unexpected emotions like sadness and emptiness.
You believe you should be happy, but when nobody is around, tears run down your cheeks. Nobody seems to notice your pain: “Does anybody care about me?” You feel alone even when you’re with loved ones. But you numb your feelings and hope that one day your life will change.
I understand how you feel. Who would have imagined this was coming at the end of parenting? But this transition also offers a unique opportunity for growth and self-discovery. In this article, I'll show you How to shift your mindset from empty to empowered mom in 3 simple steps.
Step 1: Raise Self-Awareness
Shifting your mindset begins with self-awareness. This could be the hardest part because you’ve been busy nurturing others. As a result, you might feel disconnected from yourself. It’s totally normal.
Now, I want you to start reconnecting with yourself by asking these questions:
- What makes you feel that way?
- When do you experience these feelings?
It may be uncomfortable, but that’s where you’ll find a solution.
Step 2: Accept Your Feelings to Shift Your Mindset
Once you connect with yourself and identify specific emotions, it’s time to accept them. Make sure to be compassionate and talk to yourself as you would to your best friend. There’s no space for self-criticism or judgment.
Earlier, I mentioned hoping for life to get better. Here’s the biggest mistake I made. I was waiting for someone to change my life. I eventually understood that nobody was coming: radical acceptance was scary, but necessary.
As soon as you accept where you are, you’ll experience a sense of relief because you’ll feel seen, heard, and understood by YOURSELF!! This may surprise you, but the relationship you have with yourself is the most important aspect of your life.
Step 3: Focus On What You Can Control
Next, let’s identify what you can control and not. For example, you can not control the weather, but you can bring an umbrella.
Let’s practice this using an example of feeling alone. You CAN’T control others to be there for you all the time to fill your alone time, but you CAN invest that solo time in learning something new.
Notice how reframing "alone" to "solo" instantly gives you a sense of empowerment?
On the other hand, when you focus on the things you can’t control, that’s where you’ll feel friction. This is when you may feel sad, lonely, or unworthy. Always remember to focus on what is within your control.
Exercise For Shifting Your Mindset
Let’s do a simple exercise to stretch your brain. Shifting your mindset is all about seeing things from different perspectives. It’s time for you to connect with yourself and ask the next 3 questions:
- If I were my child: “Would I like to see my mom waiting for a life change?” Or “Would I want to see her thriving?”
- If I were my best friend: “What advice would I give her going though the pre-empty nester phase?
- Look around your communities: Where could I use this solo time to help others?
Seeing things from different perspectives help you find the light to overcome obstacles in your life.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the key to becoming an empowered empty nester is shifting your mindset with self-awareness and acceptance. By focusing on what you can control, you'll be able to reframe your narrative. That's how you can unlock your potential and become a thriving mom! Embrace the pre-empty nester phase with compassion, courage, and positivity, as your best years are ahead of you! I believe in your ability to create the life you REALLY want!
Love & Care 💕
Kumiko
Midlife can be a pivotal time for many of us. With kids growing up, careers evolving, and personal identities shifting, the transition can feel overwhelming. Amidst all the chaos, there's a common trap many fall into: the belief that "I need to change." This notion, while seemingly harmless, can often lead to unnecessary stress and dissatisfaction. In this blog post, we'll explore how to navigate your midlife transformation with grace and confidence, without succumbing to the pressure of drastic change.
Understand the Transition
First and foremost, it’s essential to recognize that midlife isn't an endpoint but a transition. Just like your teenage years brought about significant changes, midlife transitions bring new opportunities for growth. Embrace these changes as part of your transformation journey instead of seeing them as a problem that needs fixing.
Celebrate Your Achievements
Take a moment to look back on all you've accomplished. From raising your children (pat on the back!) to managing a household, building your career, your experiences have shaped who you are today. Celebrate these achievements and understand they're evidence of your resilience and strength. Recognize that you're not starting from scratch; you're evolving from a solid foundation.
Reflect on Your Real Needs
The urge to change often stems from external pressures or comparisons. Instead of immediately jumping to what's wrong or what needs changing, reflect on what truly makes you happy. Are there specific areas in your life that need minor tweaks rather than an overhaul? Focus on identifying your real needs rather than succumbing to societal expectations.
Set Realistic Goals
Instead of drastic changes, set small, realistic goals that can gradually improve your well-being. Whether it’s picking up a new hobby, making time for self-care, or reconnecting with old friends, these small steps can significantly enhance your quality of life without the pressure of a complete life overhaul.
Prioritize Self-Compassion
Remember to be kind to yourself. Midlife transition can bring about feelings of uncertainty, and that's perfectly okay. Self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding as you would treat a friend. Acknowledge your feelings, forgive yourself for any perceived shortcomings, and move forward with a sense of acceptance.
Seek Support
You don’t have to go through this transition alone. Talk to friends, join support groups, or seek professional guidance from a therapist or coach. Sharing your thoughts and feelings with others who understand can provide valuable insights and help you navigate the transition more smoothly.
Embrace Your Authentic Self
Finally, and most importantly, embrace who you are. Midlife is a time to honor your true self, prioritize what matters most, and let go of what no longer serves you. Embrace your passions, values, and unique qualities. Authenticity is far more fulfilling than any superficial change could ever be.
Conclusion
As a mom navigating midlife, it's natural to feel a pull towards change. However, it's important to realize that you don't need to overhaul your life to find fulfillment. By understanding the transition, celebrating your achievements, setting realistic goals, and embracing your authentic self, you can navigate this phase with confidence and grace. Remember, it's about evolving, not changing. Your journey, just like your life, is beautifully unique. Embrace it fully.
Love & Care 💕
Kumiko
